Analyze This

I was listening to this song in the car earlier today and was slowly analyzing it while listening and realized that it

 speaks so much truth as to what us girls feel everyday. Read it or listen to it for yourself and post your

analysis if you want :) 

(I'll post mine tomorrow)

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Shinedown - Second Chance

My eyes are open wide
And by the way, I made it
Through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out Today

I just saw Hayley's comet,
shoo-ting
Said ,"Why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere"


[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today

I just saw Hayley's comet, shoo-ting
Said ,"Why you always running in place?
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in the stratosphere"


[Chorus]
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Heres my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Sometimes goodbye
Is a second chance

Click Here For The Video

Be ashamed, be very ashamed

I'm so sorry to all the girls out there who are a lot

more dedicated than I am... So obviously my

 "eating till I get sick" plan was a horrible

idea. Well, kinda. I pretty much ended

 up eating myself into a coma for

12 hours and woke up with

 the worst stomach pain.

 So besides the fact

that I probably

gained two

 or three lbs after

 last night, I still never

 want to look at a crumb of

food ever again... I feel so sick and

 so shitty today, I think i'll spend some time

 looking up thinspiration to post for myself and

everyone else. Sorry girls, I know I screwed up,

 but just hope that I get better soon

</3

So Sick

This is gonna be short and sweet. I hate holidays and the day

 after the holiday. There is so much food around and I can't

 keep myself from eating it... And I have the next two

 days off from work so I'm sitting in the house

 surrounded by food. So once I got past

my safety zone, I decided that I'm

 just gonna keep eating

 tonight until I get sick.

 I have a good

feeling that if

 I do

 that

 I will

 be permanently

 scared away from

food. Its happened

 before, so here's to doing

permanent mental damage on food.

Horrible Holidays

I must keep this in mind for the next holiday that comes up,

but they are the worst days to try not to eat. And it doesn't help

that I had to go to TWO different houses for Easter dinner, it

was difficult to try and make excuses both times. I was

proud of myself for at least only eating a little bit, but

then I went home and fell asleep for 3 hours and

woke up to a feeding frenzy. I ate handfuls of

chocolate candy and a reese's ice cream

cake... I was so ashamed of myself

and had no one been home I

would've purged...

 (Thanks

 to my

amazing

 Ana Buddy

 Ashley, I now

know how to purge)

I feel so fat and disgusting,

 and at least I have the next two 

days off from work so I think this would

 be a good time to do a two day fast, try and

 get all this shit out of me and get my ass back

on track to skinnyville. I can't stand the sight of

myself anymore, I can't enjoy sex cause I think my boyfriend

 is disgusted by me, I don't want to hang out with my friends because

 I think they're all thinner and more beautiful than me... It's a never

 ending battle and I won't win til there is not one ounce of fat

on my body. Wish me luck girls, I'm gonna need all I can get...

</3

Death is Upon Me...

I ate so much today... I was so weak and hungry and exhausted... 

my boyfriend came home and made me eat... And it made 

me feel so much better, so I kept eating... and eating... and 

eating... And now I'm so full I want to throw up and I 

can't cause I don't know how to make 

myself... I just want this out of me...

Growing Pain

So I got sent home from work early today.. I was

so light-headed and dizzy, my friend Andy told me

I was really pale... So they sent me home

 almost 2 1/2 hours early.. So much

for that paycheck. Anyway, so

thats my new issue. This is all

 still so new to me and

my body that I'm

constantly weak,

 exhausted,

 and light-headed.

 I don't know what

I can do to help. I don't want

 to eat. I wanna keep losing. I wanna

 feel lighter and happier everyday like I have been.

All i've had today is a bite of a banana. I didn't even

 wanna eat that. My boyfriend wanted me to have breakfast

 before work. Plus two cups of coffee later (and lack of sleep

last night), no wonder I'm such a zombie today...

Oh well, I feel thinner already. Not as thin as

 I'd like to be, but I'm getting there. My

 collarbone is more visible now which

 is always a good sign! Wish me luck

 girls ,I'm on my wayout to go buy

 vitamins, hopefully they'll help fix

my situation.

<3

Thank You Lovely Girls

Sorry I didn't post the other night. I got a little sidetracked

 and was away from my computer for a while. Anyway, 

I am proud to say that in 5 days I've lost 3.5 lbs. Its 

doesn't seem like much, but to me, that is a 

milestone. I can't believe I could lose that 

much so quickly. Its still not 

noticeable, at least to me 

its not. But I feel like 

i'm different.

 That my body's 

different. I'd like to think

 that at least. My job is making it

 a lot easier too though. I'm not around 

food all day, I don't pack a lunch and I just drink

 coffee and diet Pepsi. Plus, on top of that, I stock 30-50 lb

 bags of fertilizer, dog food, and etc. It's fantastic. I get a workout

 all day, and eating barely 300-500 calories a day, getting thin isn't 

gonna be that hard. It's just the waiting that sucks. But all in all, 

I thank all you lovely girls out there for inspiring me to take 

initiative to become who I want to be. 

<3