Monday, April 25, 2011

Horrible Holidays

I must keep this in mind for the next holiday that comes up,

but they are the worst days to try not to eat. And it doesn't help

that I had to go to TWO different houses for Easter dinner, it

was difficult to try and make excuses both times. I was

proud of myself for at least only eating a little bit, but

then I went home and fell asleep for 3 hours and

woke up to a feeding frenzy. I ate handfuls of

chocolate candy and a reese's ice cream

cake... I was so ashamed of myself

and had no one been home I

would've purged...

 (Thanks

 to my

amazing

 Ana Buddy

 Ashley, I now

know how to purge)

I feel so fat and disgusting,

 and at least I have the next two 

days off from work so I think this would

 be a good time to do a two day fast, try and

 get all this shit out of me and get my ass back

on track to skinnyville. I can't stand the sight of

myself anymore, I can't enjoy sex cause I think my boyfriend

 is disgusted by me, I don't want to hang out with my friends because

 I think they're all thinner and more beautiful than me... It's a never

 ending battle and I won't win til there is not one ounce of fat

on my body. Wish me luck girls, I'm gonna need all I can get...

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2 comments:

  1. oh darling, i know just how you feel!
    i'm losing so many people from my life because i never hang out with them, but i just can't stand seeing them all so much more lovely than me, and how disgusting i am in comparison. i can't wait to be skinny so i can get back to my life and everything/everyone i love.

    i just wanna say, be careful with the whole purging thing, it can get wayy addictive (i'm not trying to have a go at you, i do it a lot myself, too much in fact.)

    keep thinking thin, and good luck girl!
    xoxo

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  2. Thanks lovely. I've been told from several people that purging can be addictive, so I plan on only doing it when its a last resort. But thanks for looking out for me :)

    ReplyDelete